Inner Chaos

'The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation'

"If we could really see into the depths of ourselves, into both our unconscious and subconscious minds we would see the inner turmoil and chaos of the conflicts we have. Such insights wouldboth terrify and delight us. There is no crime, perversion, cruelty ever practised that we are not capable of, but also no heroism, selflesness or love beyond our potential. We refuse to look at our 'inner' lives, ignoring our true selves, renoucing our individuality, freedom, personality...we lose our very selves. One way that we avoid looking at our inner choas and the potential destructiveness of it is to project it onto other people. Projecting blame onto others...unaware of the potential destruction caused to both ourself and others. We refuse to acknowledge our inner chaos as we are afriad of rejection. We fear being totally rejected by people for what we may be capable of. Leading to an abyss of self rejection...

If we could face this fear we could find our true selves. Our true selves being meaningless. We are nothing without the relationships we share with others. This web of relationships is essential for meaning. To prevent having no purpose we fight to assure ourselves and others that we have meaning. We must ensure that we make our mark...people notice us. To gain this assurance we may pretend that we are other than we really are...feign interest...etc. If we try hard enough we may convince ourselves that that is who we are...but it just leads to a tangled web of deceit. We become false. We play the game of life without relish. We do damage to our deepest selves."