Dilemma...

Dilemma was once a nick-name...now its the story of my life.

I've pondered my life a lot over the past week...probably not a good idea but I havn't really had much else to do. I realised that my life seems to have been one dilemma after another. The connecting thing, the thing that has got me through each troubled or untroubled event in my life is my family. I have always ahd teh support and advice of my family whether welcomed or not to help me through.

Now the dilemma is my family and I don't know what to do. It appears that the transition from home to university was not as smooth as I thought and after returning from university this time...I was met with an uncontrolable monster. Half the time people are making comments about life without me and how much easier this is, usually in relation to money and eating habit and whether this is intended as a joke. It is no longer funny. The other half of the time is spent in silence. People don't seem to want to talk to me anymore. This may not seem much of a problem but our house is very loud and we usually have such fun!!!

The biggest dilemma to me is the loss of my best friend. My youngest sister no longer wants to know me. We havn't spoken properly since I got back and even small talk seems unable to occur between us this week. This has upset me significantly because it is beyond my control, I have tried to over come the silent treatment but I am consitently on the verge of tears and get angry or upset at the simplest thing which, is affecting my relationship with other people. I no longer have a hold on the support network, my security, me family, my home.

I had hoped that such problems would solve themself, however after three weeks little solution has occurred whatever has been said or done by me and two weeks today I will be back at university. I'm not sure that this will be resolved by then...I don't know what to do. For the first time in my life...I have no one at hand to turn to.

This hasn't been a good week. Enjoy the rest of your day.